but I really miss having intelligent friends. Who get any jokes at all. And that have at least a general sense of the world and news and pop culture that doesn't just include dirt bikes and quads. And that know what any phrases or abbreviations mean. And who also have a general sense of where states are placed in the untited states and countries are placed in the world. And that can get a fucking reference every once in a while. Fuck! Yeah, no offense...

in a really long time, it feels.
Maybe because I used to constantly say what I felt.
Its weird how used to this... new life I've become. Or how I'm just realizing how different its been.
I don't know. Just reading friends blogs and seeing how nearly every post is about how happy or how sad they are made me realize I don't do that very often anymore.
I've become so... introverted. Like, really. I know I thought I was for a long time. But I honestly didn't even know what that felt like.
I'm not complaining. I actually like it. A lot. Its kind of become my identity. Not that I'm a hundred percent on that. But I don't know. I've found a kind of maturity with it. And I rarely find myself mature.
Even my only real complaint can be stifled with it. I wish I had any confidence in myself at all. But with this... "thing"... I don't know. Its almost like I rely on myself so much that that is my confidence. Not me thinking, "Wow. I can def do this. Easy." More like theres no thought. I have to do this. So I do.
Its like being forced away from my closest friends enabled me to do what I always wished I could. Not depend on people. Just me. And I've really learned a lot about myself I didn't know. And a lot about everyone else. Its pretty cool. I sort of miss having super close best friends that I shared everything with but its ok.
The first time I moved, to Laughlin... it was all about family. And worrying about how they saw me. And at the beginning, when I moved to Palm Springs, I was just... sad. So gay. But true. And then I just started, like sort of people watching. More observing than physically staring at people. Just becoming more aware. And I don't know... I'm surprised how different my life is right now. A year ago... I had such different goals. And cared about such stupid, insignifigant shit.
I probably still do but... everything is so much more realistic now.

I doubt this makes any sense to you.

I haven't posted in forever.
My dad thinks I'm a failure(correct), so he called his mommy on me and now my Granny♥ is visiting me for a week. Did you know: I can't clean floors correctly, I make huge messes while I get ready, I sleep too late(6:30?), I don't "get out in the sun" enough and my grandparents hate me?
I met Danny Baldwin and took a hideous picture with Carl Weathers on Saturday. Pretty sweet. And I met those guys from Desperate Housewives but I was more excited about the Weatherman.
So Marylin Manson has a legal Absinthe drink. Its called Mansinthe. And its 66.6%. How fun. I want to drink it all. But apparently you aren't supposed to drink it undiluted under any circumstances. Which means I definitely will be.
My favorite show is Party Down.
Ps. I HATE THE FUCKING DESERT.

Not. I'm going to LA today. My great grandma is turning, like, 200. Its 2 hours away.

This won't be fun.

Alex and I just watched the whole movie. I was so surprised when I saw it on Showtime. I rented that movie and Girl, Interrupted every time I went to Video Store when I was a kid. Every time. And it was literally called Video Store. I haven't seen it since I was 8 or 9, though. And we both screamed when a bear came from around the corner. Fun times. 

Alex is a sick boy. When he talks, laughs or just breathes he sounds like an old ass man.

Videogum.com speaks to my soul. Its like its a website dedicated to everything April cares about. And talkes and talks about things I thought only I cared about. 

So, I'm supposed to volunteer at this"Hollywood Allstars" baseball benefit thing. I guess theres a lot of sap opera guys and some Desperate Housewives people coming. I wasn't going to go, but Meat Loaf will be there! And this excites me. Dallas is flipping out because the Allstate guy is going. I still probably won't go.

1. I need money.
2. AA hoodies are pointless in Palm Springs. It has been at least 80 degrees here since the beginning of winter.
3. Monster Hospital MSTRKRFT Remix
4. I broke my pinky toe.
5. I miss Brittney.

Proof that I am a vampire.

Oh, and that I don't give a fuck.

I finally got Incredibad. Ah. It was sooo weird seeing The Lonely Island cd in target. Like... I don't know. Seeing someone from middle school have a successful album. Alex and I are really afraid they are going to get too big for themselves. : [ Even though the short last night was pretty funny. Sax Man is really funny. I don't know how I didn't hear it before now.

Fred Armisen has really been impressing us lately and http://www.thunderant.com is hilarious. I really like that guy.

I bought the same shirt Bill Hader wore in Hot Rod. The wolf one. I'm more excited than I can express.

Sooo. Thats all my nerdy Snl news...

Lol. Darwin drums? How appropriate. The lady is into it.